Life advice for these times, from books I’m reading

Greetings, readers! A quick newsletter for this hot (at least here in Colorado!) summer week, from two books I’ve been reading lately:

• Ed Gandia’s newsletter recently mentioned the book Time Off: A practical guide to building your rest ethic and finding success without the stress, by John Fitch and Max Frenzel. Ed mentioned a specific concept in the book: making a “More of/Less of” list for what you want in (or out of!) your life, and using that as “a practical compass for daily decisions.” I loved this idea, so I got the book (was able to get the electronic version free from my local library).

Here’s what appeals to me about this concept, and this book: it’s an actual strategy. To me, lots of personal growth/self-improvement advice boils down to, “just don’t do the things that make you nuts.” Worry less! It will all work out! And honestly, if it were that easy, we wouldn’t be, well…nuts. Personally, I need a strategy, and here it is: write a two-column list, with 5-10 things that you want more of in your life, and 5-10 things that you want less of. When you’re faced with a dilemma: should I accept this work project, should I go back to school, should I say yes to this friend, you ask yourself: does it align with my “More of” list, or my “Less of” list? Maybe you can’t turn that project down today, but just acknowledging that it’s not something you want more of can be a huge first step.

This book reminds me a bit of Mark McGuinness’ Productivity for Creative People, a book I really loved although I don’t consider myself particularly creative. The common thread: these authors focus on freeing up time and energy for what is most important to you, rather than what you see as annoying busywork. To me, that was a transformative concept: the real problem with aimless flailing is that it takes time away from the things you love to do. And summer, when work slows down for a lot of us, can be a good time to refocus on what you really want to be doing.

• Just as I was the last person on earth to read James Clear’s Atomic Habits, it took me a while to get to Mel Robbins’ The Let Them Theory, and I’m really enjoying it. Mostly, it’s a book about letting go of other people’s opinions and judgment (let them do their thing, while you focus on doing your thing), which is something most of us need to work on.

But in terms of great advice for this moment in the freelance world, here’s a gem from this book: when you feel yourself getting jealous of someone else’s success, don’t let the jealousy eat you alive, let them lead the way to what you’re capable of doing. Mel Robbins’ theory is that jealousy is about us: when we’re jealous of someone else’s accomplishments, it’s because we’re reflecting on our own unrealized potential. This struck me as true: we’ve all had the experience of seeing someone else doing really well in the freelance world, and thinking: I could do that! In fact, maybe I could do that better! Instead of lamenting, let that emotion spur you to action and focus on what you’re truly capable of, but you’re not yet trying.

Things in my business are going really well, and it’s a nutso time to be a freelancer, or even just to be a human. These books are helping me wrap my head around how to focus on what’s important to me. I hope they help you, too!

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