At last summer’s Translate in the Catskills conference (I know, I talk about this conference all the time…it was great!), instructor Grant Hamilton commented that he had never seen a translator use the expressions “giving short shrift” or “paying little heed.” Grant’s point was that most translators stick to the path of least resistance, the expressions that they’ve used over and over again when writing their translations. Since then, I’ve been making a deliberate effort to spice up my translations with expressions that are accurate but that give the translation a flair that hackneyed phrases don’t have. I’ve found that even boilerplate legal documents are more engaging to read when you really focus on writing well. I think it’s important (especially in legal documents) not to sacrifice meaning for style, but especially if you write for direct clients, compelling style can be a real boost for your translations.
For example, how about “This ruling gave corporations full freedom to set prices” versus “This ruling gave corporations free reign to set prices.” This also led me to an interesting discussion of Free Rein or Free Reign (I decided to use “free reign”). Here are some “bland to spicy” makeovers that I rarely see in translations:
- Bland: All at once. Spicy: In one fell swoop.
- Bland: This decision conflicts with current thinking. Spicy: This decision goes against the grain.
- Bland: This marketing strategy is innovative. Spicy: This marketing strategy is ahead of the curve.
- Bland: The corporate spokesperson was honest. Spicy: The corporate spokesperson did not mince words.
- Bland: The situation changed. Spicy: The tables turned.
- Bland: The plaintiff did not seem upset by the decision. Spicy: The plaintiff seemed to take the decision in stride.
- Bland: As more consumers switch to organic food… Spicy: As more consumers jump on the organic bandwagon…
- Bland: An atmosphere of distrust. Spicy: A cloud of suspicion.
And feel free to add your own favorite but little-used expressions as well! A few caveats: even when you’re trying to write compellingly, it’s important to maintain the register of the original document. You don’t want expressions like “a dog eat dog world” in a formal legal document. Likewise, know your audience. Especially if you’re writing for non-native speakers of the target language, avoid culturally-specific or sports-inspired metaphors that will fall flat. Americans particularly love to include sports expressions such as home run, hole in one, Hail Mary pass, so avoid these if your target audience will be confused by them.
I used the word copious once (as in “flush eyes with copious amounts of water”) and my project manager was so tickled with my use of the word that he signed the Christmas card that year wishing me “copious Christmas greetings.” 🙂
Hiya! Nice post and I agree – I am conscious that there are some words I just never use – but I do try to use some nice turns of phrase when I can.
Just one thing tho – surely (at least in UK English) it’s always free rein?? From giving the horse it’s head, so to speak?
I will be interested to find out what others think.
Sally
I would tend to avoid some of the “spicy” alternatives you offer, as they rely on stock phrases that seem a bit worn and they may also not always be understandable to people from different regions. Translations into English are often used as a “bridge” for translations into many other languages, and over-spicing the words may burn a few tongues further on.
Your point, however, is well taken, however much I might grumble about individual phrases. Go for original phrases or surprising syntheses when you can.
RE: free rein vs. free reign: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/free-rein-or-free-reign/
Hi Corinne,
Just like Kevin, I also would avoid several of the “spicy” solutions as, far from being “little-used expressions”, they are overworked cliches.
I do agree, however, with the underlying strategy of trying to write in a more natural way, of not staying so close to the actual wording of the source text.
I agree with those above who advised caution in the spiciness, for all the reasons they state. Nevertheless, the principle of striving to write in the style and wording of the source language is sound.
One way I apply this is to keep a mental list of words and expressions in the target language that do not exist in the source language (or that are not used in the same way), and try to remember to use them when appropriate. This is a touch that helps give the translation that desired quality of “reading like an original.”
I would love to give some general examples, but I can only call on my own language pair. So, in a translation from Spanish to English, if I can work in “wipe,” “to look forward to,” “afford,” “upset,” or “treat,” it’s very satisfying.
An English to Spanish translator should feel similar satisfaction if the translation uses “adecuar,” “aprovechar,” “condicionar,” “dinámico,” “espacio,” “marco,” “perfeccionar,” “perfil,” or “trayectorio” (when the English original doesn’t contain the corresponding cognate).
Er, what’s a Hail Mary pass?
I said plenty of them when I was a child but this expression’s new to me.
I like inserting “outwith” into translations – a very useful and underused Scottish word, IMHO.
I agree with you, Corinne. I like to add a little spice to life, too. I translate a lot of marketing texts which give me free rein 😉 to be a little more creative which is fun.
In other texts, I feel more obliged to follow the original as they do not lend themselves to “spice” in quite the same way, as Kevin and others suggest.
Picking up on Marian’s point above, I frequently use the Scottish word “shieling” in tourism brochures to translate the Norwegian “sæter” or “støl”, meaning a high mountain pasture to which livestock was moved during the summer months.
An aside on rein/reign: An equestrian store in my village that called itself “Reign” [sic] recent went out of business.
Oops, make that “recentLY”! People in glass houses…
Sound advice but sometimes, after going to a lot of trouble to inject some vim into a lacklustre text, I have been dismayed to find a non-native proofreader has gone through my work, turning all my flights of fancy back into plodding sentences (even going as far as to change something like the “Committee called for” into the “C. asked”) and he/she me wanting me to justify every single imaginative leap I made.
Often I have been praised for a creative piece of translation but just as often scorned for not being literal enough. So I tend to steer a middle course these days, unless the text is outrageously flowery, then I just let rip.
Anton
“Know your audience” is incredibly importance in writing, especially in translating. It takes not only a some who can translate the content but also someone who understands the culture. I’ve known people who have translated copy perfectly, but some of it came off as odd because what was written doesn’t make sense on paper, only in verbal communication.
I’m all for spicyness, though. Writing needs the right flavor, depending on the situation.
I’m really glad to have found your blog, Corinne!
Great and truthful article. Spicing your text is a must for anyone who translates advertising content, as well as PowerPoint documents written to be discussed among sales teams, for instance.
Keep up the good job!